HEHEHE
You Know You're Italian When.... |
You have a nonna. You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00 You know what a rice ball really tastes like. Your car has a green red and a white bow with a horn attached on the mirror! You know the words to Dominick the Donkey! On Christmas Eve you eat only fish Your favorite slow song: Ti Amo "Fuhggettaboutit" The Godfather is your role model You love Nutella...anytime... Your nonna's meat balls are the best You always dress to impress You always gotta have a clean pair of Fila's You love Versace, Gucci, Prada, Armani, just cause there Italian. Favorite movies: Godfather, Good Fellas, Bronx Tale, The Last Don... and you live by them. Guys gotta respect their women...or else... You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you by either your mother or your nonna. Pasta, pasta, pasta everyday. Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a 76 Monte Carlo. You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive a $45,000 Camaro or Firebird. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives. You consider dunking a cannoli in an espresso a nutritious breakfast. Your 2 best friends are your cousin and your brother-in-law's brother-in-law. You are a card-carrying V.I.P at more than 3 strip clubs. At least 5 of your cousins live on your street. All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather. A high school diploma and 1 year of Nassau Community College has earned you the title of "professor" among your aunts. You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners. If someone in your family grows beyond 5'11", it is presumed his mother had an affair. There were more than 28 people in your bridal party. You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion. At some point in your life, you were a D.J 30 years after immigrating, your parents still say "Pronto" when answering the phone. You have ever been in a fight defending Sly Stallone's thespian greatness. Somewhere on your parents' property, there is a bathtub Madonna. You build your house with 3 materials.... brick, brick and wrought iron. You have at least one sister that went to Beauty School. Clothes from the Chess King will actually fit you. It is impossible for you to talk with your hands in your pockets. Have been to a funeral where talk of the deceased is, "He shoulda kept his big yap shut." You have many relatives named either Joe or Mary... You grew up in a small house, but you still had two kitchens. (One was in the basement) Your grandfather had a fig tree You've always wanted a red Ferrari Connie Francis songs makes you cry At least one person in your family does a great impression of Don Corleone You feel strangely comfortable when you sit on plastic-covered furniture You know all the words to "That's Amore" You are offended when the wedding you attend serves less than 9 courses despite the fact that you don't eat half of it. You ask "How much for cash?" when buying but will accept 'gifts' in exchange for cash when selling. You are not materialistic but insist a $500 wedding present is nothing. You think have a concrete backyard is nice. You think having swans in a big fountain in the front yard next to the veggie patch is tasteful. You actually believe everyone eats those sugared almonds in the bonboniere at your wedding. You always have a friend who 'owes you a favor'. You're proud to be Italian - and you pass these jokes on to all your Italian friends! |
posted by Picciotta @ 21:12
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